Simply Friday

Business & Marketing Strategy

Social Media Douche

[flickr size="small" float="left"][email protected]/2726201320/[/flickr] When technology disrupts the traditional way of doing things, the small business owner can be at a distinct disadvantage. If like the majority of our clients you don’t have a technology team or a dedicated marketing department – all you have is you – then how do you find the time to learn all this new stuff?

By now you’ve seen the benefit of having an easy to update website and you’ve heard of Twitter and Social Media, but how do you incorporate all this into your daily operations without going crazy and throwing the computer through the screen?

Simple – you hire someone (preferably us) – and as usual you should hire the best expert you can afford. But before you start the hiring process, check out this beautiful paragraph from Wikipedia on Snake Oil Peddlers:

The snake oil peddler became a stock character in Western movies: a travelling "doctor" with dubious credentials, selling some medicine (such as snake oil) with boisterous marketing hype, often supported by pseudo-scientific evidence, typically bogus. To enhance sales, an accomplice in the crowd (a "shill") would often "attest" the value of the product in an effort to provoke buying enthusiasm. The "doctor" would prudently leave town before his customers realized that they had been cheated. This practice is also called "grifting" and its practitioners "grifters".

Now, with the above in mind and to help you in your decision making – Alex and I compiled our personal top 5 tips on what we look for in Social Media Consultants:



@kilted_alex says be real when you use Twitter otherwise you will be a Social Media Douchebag

Be real – people tweeting the same banal shit as everyone else aren’t exactly adding to the conversation – you might not want to use the F word in a corporate stream but blandness is almost as bad!


@kilted_alex says don't be a power re-tweeter otherwise you will be a Social Media Douchebag

Sure re-tweeting adds value but if someone’s stream is nothing but re-tweets then you gotta wonder if they have anything of value to say themselves.


@kilted_alex and @snipeyhead say don't be a Social Media Douchebag

Come on – if it looks like a douche, tweets like a douche and reads like a douche – then it’s probably a douche. Check out @snipeyhead for an example of what a good consultant looks like!


@kilted_alex says don't pretend to be an expert otherwise you will be a Social Media Douchebag

Just ‘cos you know how to do something doesn’t make you an expert. Tools like Twitter are constantly developing and changing – it’s perpetual beta all the time – beware the Expert.


@kilted_alex says unless you can do more than talk a good game you will be a Social Media Douchebag

Sure you can talk about the importance of having a blog – but do you have one – and if you do – is the content worth reading?



@kilted_andrew says Social Media Douchebags often have little experience with social media

How can you be an expert in this if you've only be doing it a couple of years - go read what Malcolm Gladwell has to say about the whole 10,000 hours thing


@kilted_andrew says if all you do is Tweet, you may be a Social Media Douchebag

Working with 140 characters is one thing - actually writing something of length that has value - well that's another thing entirely.


@kilted_alex and @kilted_andrew say if you give yourself a title like Guru, Expert, Visionary then you might be a Social Media Douchebag

The title Guru should be reserved for those teaching Tantric Sex. Nuff said.


@kilted_andrew says that people are not dumb - if you insist on trying to sell shit using the same techniques that worked 10 years ago then you might be a Social Media Douchebag

I can't believe that these single page supposed sales funneling techniques are still used - even if it is "by internet marketers for internet marketers". If you see something like this - run - run away, fast.


@kilted_andrew says expect your consultant's site to look cool - if it isn't you might be dealing with a Social Media Douchebag

This one is common sense - if the people you are thinking of hiring have a crap website - what makes you think they'll be able to make yours look any better?

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